ella_menno: (lure)
OMG YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS.

You know who would make the BEST best friends? DR. REID OLIVER and HAN SOLO, that's who.

The quippiness would reach epic levels.


Crazy shit like this is why nobody talks to me anymore, isn't it.
ella_menno: (cookies!dean)
If you need a laugh, go here now. It's a literal video of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and it made me giggle hysterically.


PS: [livejournal.com profile] que_divertido, you will LURVE it.

GIP!!!

Feb. 20th, 2008 07:25 pm
ella_menno: (Default)
I cannot tell you how much my new default icon amuses me. Perhaps by tomorrow I'll be able to look at it w/o giggling.

Then again, perhaps not.







OMG somebody comment before I die of boredom, all alone, by myself, abandoned out here in the hinterlands....
ella_menno: (ronald mc evil)
[Poll #1132838]
ella_menno: (cookies!Dean by sinister morgue)
Middle Child (age 8, for those of you not keeping score at home) woke up early this morning, so he had some extra time on his hands before we had to leave for school.

He's usually pretty good about entertaining himself, so I thought nothing of it when he grabbed some paper and a pencil and scooted off to a corner to start writing.

He'd write something, look up from the paper, make a little "thinky-face," then write some more.

Once I got the other two kids ready, I made my way over to him. I kind of figured he was working on his Christmas Wish List, so I was hoping for ideas.

I take a peek over his shoulder, and see a list of names, like this:

BRIJIT
KALEE
ANJELA
KATHRIN
EMILY

"Okay," I says to myself. "Not his Christmas list, then..."

So I went ahead and asked him what the list was.

"Oh," he says, all casual non-chalance. "It's a list of all the girls at school who think I'm cute."

*dies*

(Should I mention that more than half of them are older than he is - matter of fact, two of them are sixth-graders??)

ETA: So am I the only one who can see second-grader!Dean doing this same thing?)

memeage

Oct. 30th, 2007 10:52 pm
ella_menno: (calvin)
The names meme, which seems to be all over the place:


1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Pal Caravan. I have a feeling nobody listens to my band.

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Cherry Garcia Snickerdoodle. FEER ME, BEEYOTCH.

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
J. Gos. That one doesn’t suck too much.

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Violet Grizzly Bear. Um. I have no comment.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Nicole Noelle Kenosha. So what's my evil twin's name? And evidently, Nicole is my evil twin. *facepalms* Too stupid to live independently, I tell you....

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Gosje. Sounds like I was one of Padme’s handmaidens.

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, first tool that comes to mind, put "The" at the beginning)
The Pink Mitersaw! One of you will have to tell me what superpowers I have.

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Carl Charles, or Charles Carl. Vroom?

9. STRIPPER NAME: (favorite candy, the name of your favorite perfume/cologne)
Rolo Poison. That’s...decidedly non-sexy.

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Ann Carl. Very non-descript; I think it works.
ella_menno: (voldie vs. dumbledore from ootp)
I’m a little concerned about those select few persons who call themselves "shocked" that Dumbledore was gay all along.  This brings me great concern for the literacy and ability to read for content of the general public.  Let's go through some of the text:


Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive.  He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt.  He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots.  His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.  This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.



JKR introduces us to the character by telling us that "nothing like [him] had ever been seen on Privet Drive."  Privet Drive, as we all know, is a symbol of conventional (i.e. heterosexual) Muggle suburbia - a place to which we’re explicitly told that Albus Dumbledore is foreign.  It’s apparent that his magical ability is one of the reasons he is so alien to this landscape; however, it isn’t too much of a stretch to see that there may well be other reasons.


The next sentence tells us that the Headmaster's hair and beard are both exceptionally long.  As found on gay.com:  “In the late ‘60’s and ‘70’s1, when modern gay radicalism was born, long hair spoke of nonconformism, sensuality, and a challenge to rigid gender norms.”  Aha!  Another clue for those careful students of the text. 


Up next, we discover what the Professor wore on his outing – er, excuse me – his excursion to Privet Drive.  Certainly robes and cloaks are standard attire in the wizarding world, so there are no clues to the wearer’s sexual orientation there.  However – of all the many colors, what hue does our Headmaster choose?  That’s right:  purple – just like the famous gay icon Tinky Winky.  Not only is Dumbledore’s cloak purple, but it “sweeps the ground.”  An interesting word choice, is it not?  Exchange the “eeps” for “ishes,” and our esteemed Professor fairly prances atop the pavement.2


And what is on those prancing feet?  “High-heeled, buckled boots.”  Honestly, at this point, I have to wonder who among JKR’s readers was still under the impression that Dumbles was straight. 


The paragraph ends by telling us that Dumbledore’s nose appeared to have been “broken at least twice.”   We see other injuries in the text, most of which are mended in a trice by Madam Pomfrey or other medi-magical personnel.  Why would these injuries of Dumbledore’s still be noticeable?  Could they, perhaps, be the remnants of some homophobic Dark Wizard’s Hate Curse? 


Mind you, all this information comes from only one paragraph early on in the first book.  I’m sure that there are many other clues scattered throughout all seven books, readily available for anyone with a modicum of talent at reading comprehension.


Notes

1.  Though the quoted article almost certainly refers to the sixties and seventies which occurred in the 1900's, one would not be remiss in wondering how tolerant the 1860's and 70's were, given that Dumbledore's canonical age indicates he was running around Europe in that time period.


2.  For more semi-canonical insights on "swishing," please see Ralph Fiennes' performance as Voldemort in 2005's "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." click for visual aid )
ella_menno: (uncomfortable sam by keb91)
1. Dear Lady Ahead of Me In Line At the Bank, With Whom I Had the Beginning of a Pleasant Bit of Conversation:

I need to tell you that we’re finally getting around to putting in our lawn. I also need to tell you that we’ve hired a landscape service to do the actual work for us.

Another thing I’d like you to be aware of is that I feel kind of weird, kind of “desperate housewives-ish” if I talk about our landscaper or our yard service, so I try not to phrase it that way.

One last thing to mention? This particular lawn service offers a significant discount if you pay in cash.

Because when you and I were talking, and my 7 year old came up to me and said “why are we stopping at the bank, Mom?”

I think, judging by the look on your face and the way you almost tripped over yourself, you may have gotten the wrong idea when I told him that “mommy has to pay the guy in cash for the grass he delivered to her and daddy.”

*sigh*

Soberly yours,

Me




2. Dear Author of Fan fiction Story I Was Engrossed In For Quite Some Time:

Hi. I like your plot, and your execution is really good, as well.

That being said, I do want to advise you that spell-check does not replace a good beta.

Because describing your OFC is so tiny and petite that she only comes up to Jared Padalecki’s naval? Well. I don’t think that was exactly what you were going with that sentence.

Just a friendly bit of advice!

Kisses,

Me




3. Dear Brain:

Yes, I know that you and I have Issues when it comes to reading RPS.

However. I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove by substituting images of Harry Hamlin in for Jared Padalecki while I'm reading.

I spoke with Stomach earlier, and he’s giving some thought to throwing the entire digestive system in reverse if you pull that crap again.

I’m just saying.

Fondly,

Me

(P.S. Don't you even think about substituting anyone for Jensen Ackles, do you hear me? Three words: Hell. To. Pay.)




4. Dear Elephants:

The kids and I are going to the zoo tomorrow, so the odds are that we’ll be seeing you at some point during the day.

So if you could have some pity on me – the way you most certainly did not, the last time we saw you – and not stand around, taking it in turns to shove your trunks up one another’s butts? I’d be greatly appreciative, is all I’m saying.

Thanks!

Chastely,

Me
ella_menno: (fangirls! hide! by inmypants)
First of all, let me assure you I am DEAD of LAUGHING:

Best quiz EVER )

And then, I am asking (once again) if anyone is available for quick beta. I promise I will stay awake this time, unlike the last couple of times I sent out a flare and then disappeared.

Bwee!
ella_menno: (cookies!Dean by sinister morgue)
...but I saw this and it cracked me up.


from the article: To publicize their current mission, the Department of Evil distributed to media outlets a ring-bound portfolio titled "You Shall All Perish Screaming 2007," which provides estimates and logistics detailing how everyone will die, a line-by-line budget breakdown, and an addendum apologizing that the document was not printed in human blood. The full text is available at evil.gov.

So we have our answer as to why the YED is putting his plan into action now: the government mandated it. *nods*
ella_menno: (every saint)
I'm almost done tinkering with my LJ layout; I'd work faster, but I'm having the giggle fits whilst I'm working on it.

Does it matter to me that only two other people are going to understand the humor?

*ponders*

Nope. Not really.

EEEeee, hee hee hee hee....

ETA: Here's a hint, for anyone who's wondering....
ella_menno: (safety pin)
Through a bizarre sequence of events, I ended up at a large sporting goods store shopping for cargo pants. I must've tried at least ten pairs of pants, none of which suited me, before I found a pair that a) fit 2) looked decent on me and d) was not the horrible color of baby poop.

So I step out of the fitting room wearing these miracle pants. I'm doing the little half-circling, looking-down-at-the-pants walk, and I say to the husband, "These kind of make me feel like Angelina Jolie."

He, poor thing, is obviously unsure as to whether this is a thumbs up or thumbs down reaction. So he wrinkles his brow and, in a very atypically hesitant voice, says, "Um - the 'having Brad Pitt's baby, saving the world' Angelina Jolie, or the 'making out with your brother, wearing a vial of blood around your neck' Angelina Jolie?"

*snickers*
ella_menno: (safety pin)
Fgrd 'd gv p vwls fr Lnt ths yr.

(Smd mch lss dffclt thn gvng p chclt.)
ella_menno: (life i love)
The scene:

I am sitting on the sofa next to Michael, age 6. We are looking over a list of words containing the vowel sets of {a}, {a_e}, {ai}, and {ay}; Michael is telling me if each word uses a "short A" or a "long A."

ME: *points* What is this word?

MICHAEL: Lllllll...lll...lack....llllaaaaake. Lake! It's lake!

ME: That's right. Is "lake" a short A word or a long A word?

MICHAEL: Long A! 'Cause it sounds like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

ME: Very good. *points* Now try this word.

MICHAEL: *furrows brow* Rrrrrrrrrrrrr...rrraaaaaaaaaaaaac...raaaaaaaaack...no, that's not right. Rrrrake? Rake?

ME: Yes! That word is 'rake.' Is 'rake' a short A word or a long A word?

MICHAEL: Shhhhh...long. *brightens* Hey! Shhh-long! Schlong!

ME: *giggles*

MICHAEL: Schlong, schlong, schlong, schlong! That's my answer for everything!

ME: *gives up, falls off sofa laughing*
ella_menno: (Default)
1. I tried the whole “deep thoughts” thing last night, and I’m amazed at how bad I’ve gotten at the whole LJ/blogging thing. I feel like I can’t write – no, scratch that – I feel like I can’t even think properly anymore. Seems I need the mental exercise of putting my thoughts into concrete words, of committing them to paper in order to force them into some sort of sense. Because the stuff I wrote last night? Not so much with the making sense.

In other words, back to random, trivial natterings.


2. For reasons beyond my control, my daughter has spent the evening addressing me as “sir.” In a moment of ill-advised sarcasm, I said to her, “so what does that make you, Marcie?” Naturally, because Life Is Like That, she said “Yes. I’m Marcie,” and now she won’t respond to her own name.

Oh, and just to stir things up a bit - Daddy intervened, and now if she doesn't call me “sir,” she’s calling me “Peppermint Mommy.” Ah, the joys.


3. If OTPs were assigned based on how much you encountered them in one day, my new OTP would be “My Dog/Underpants in the Hamper.” I’m just saying.


4. Once again, the mister is working (at least he’s at home, though!), leaving me to my own devices to entertain myself.

*pauses* this is how I got into trouble the last time, isn’t it.

Anyway. In a pile next to me, I have the following (in no particular order):

*seasons one and two of Stargate SG-1
*season two of Smallville
*book - The Half-Blood Prince
*DVD - "Fifty First Dates"
*book – The Valley of Horses

Plus, y’know. The laptop.

I don’t know why I give myself this many choices. I’m going to do what I end up doing ninety-five percent of the time when he’s down the hall and I’m in here – I’ll keep telling myself I’ll watch one episode of Smallville and then turn off the computer so I can be asleep by ten-thirty.

What I’ll actually end up doing is dinking on the computer until midnight, all the while lecturing myself on how I need more sleep.

Being predictable is so … predictable.


5. Unlike the way that you never can tell, with bees, I find that I always can tell, with headaches - one of which I have now.

See, there’s the 'I just need some caffeine' headache (this is not one of those, which is good, because caffeine this late at night would make for a whole new set of problems).

There’s the 'everyone is so LOUD' headache, which this one cannot be, as the house is as close to silent as it gets.

There’s the 'I’m utterly exhausted' headache, which this just doesn’t feel like; when I tried to lie down earlier, me poor wee head just hurt all the more.

There’s the 'I’m so stressed out' headache, which I have ruled out because those headaches occur right here *points to back of head* and this current headache hurts right here *points to side of head, towards the back sort of behind the right ear, but kind of reflecting out in a triangular fashion*.

Happily, it’s definitely not the 'hello, I am a migraine and I’m here to keel you ded!' headache. (As if I’d be here typing if it were that sort.) However, that leaves me with the 'shut up and suffer through it and it’ll most likely be gone in the morning' option. Hmph.

Unless, of course, it’s one of those sudden-onset brain tumors. *wg*


6. I can’t decide whether or not this is sacrilege. Whether or not it is, I know that it’s funny. (there are 16 panels). Don't miss "Sodom and Gomorrah"!


7. That's it for tonight, as my right eye is now tearing up with pain. Oy.
ella_menno: (little girl at window)
I seem to have a bit of a mental block when it comes to the upcoming film Brokeback Mountain. I know what it's about, but I can hardly ever remember its proper title.

So, um, just to entertain myself this afternoon, I tried to think of synopses for the incorrect titles that have come to mind. Feel free to add your own, of course.

Bareback Mountain, the story of two gay cowboys and their tragic refusal to use condoms;

Backstroke Mountain, a thrilling tale of two gay lifeguards;

Breakneck Mountain, the epic saga of gay stuntmen,

and, of course, the wrong!title that's popped into my head entirely too often -

Buckbeak Mountain, which is, of course, the legend of two gay hippogriffs. (Although I suppose it could be a retelling of "Goblet of Fire" from Sirius' POV, too.)

*shakes head* Yeah. Sleep might be a good idea at this point.

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