my essay for the day

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED TODAY

1. When you take your money, debit card, and credit card out of your Big Clunky Purse in order to put them in your Tiny Darling Handbag when you go out over the weekend, you should make sure that you put all that stuff back into your Big Clunky Purse before you go to the grocery store. If you don't, you will look like a Big Clunky Idiot when you try to, you know, purchase the groceries.

2. When you see your dog sniffing, nosing, and licking an unidentified object, you should not assume it's just a leaf; what you should do is go inspect the Fascinating Mystery Object in order to make sure said dog is not blissfully putting her tongue all over a dead mouse.

3. I can kick a dead mouse pretty damned far.